Here's a conversation I have every morning
Me: Just hold on a second guys, I can't find my bra
Sam: Oh come on, I don't know why you wear that thing anyways.
Me: Well you wouldn't, you're a dog, a boy dog at that, albiet with no balls.
DeeDee:MUMMY I CAN'T HOLD IT!!! HURRY UP!!!
Me: If you keep distracting me, this will take longer!! (Pulling on pants)
Sam: No one is going to notice.
DeeDee: Yeah, it will be really quick, nobody cares.
both bostons: MOOOOOOOM!!!! WE GOTTA GO!! (At this point Sam is usually throwing himself at the door)
Me: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!!! SAM, STOP JUMPING, YOU'LL WAKE UP THE NEIGHBOURS!! (I live in an apartment)
Sam: (in a bratty voice) I'll stop when you come out here!
(I'm trying to put on deodorant and a shirt at the same time)
DeeDee: Mummy, you looked fine before, I'm not wearing anything and I can go out.
(finally leash them all up, put on flip flops, go airborne on the second flight of stairs as Sam pretends he's a magic flying reindeer, and I'm santa's sleigh. They both run so fast down the hall, they run into the front door almost everyday. I lose a flip flop doing warp speed down the steps outside. Insta-pees on both counts, Deedee starts eating all vegetation. Two simul-poos, realize I forgot poo bags, look around to see if anyone's watching, and then use an abandoned drink bottle on the side of the road to scoop up the brown treats. As I head back inside Sam puts on the complete brakes at the bottom the stairs cause he wants a walk, but I'm late for work already. I make some pleading promises and he concedes)
And that is why I'm late for work everyday. (And usually wearing whatever I found on my bedpost)