Pet
Peeves from a Dogs View
================================
1.
Blaming your farts on me . . . not funny . . . not funny at all.
2.
Yelling at me for barking . . . I AM A DOG!!
3. How you naively believe
that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. Have you
noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat spit?!!
4. Taking
me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk
is this anyway?
5. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose .
. . stop it.
6. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your
carpet. Why did you buy carpet?
7. Getting upset when I sniff the
crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that firm
handshake thing yet.
8. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look,
we both know the truth: you're just jealous.
9. Dog sweaters.
Hello . . . have you noticed the fur?
10. Any haircut that involves
bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not
home.
11. When you pick up the poop in the yard. Do you realize how far
behind schedule that puts me?
12. Taking me to the vet for "the big
snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back.
13. The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
Peeves from a Dogs View
================================
1.
Blaming your farts on me . . . not funny . . . not funny at all.
2.
Yelling at me for barking . . . I AM A DOG!!
3. How you naively believe
that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. Have you
noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat spit?!!
4. Taking
me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk
is this anyway?
5. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose .
. . stop it.
6. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your
carpet. Why did you buy carpet?
7. Getting upset when I sniff the
crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that firm
handshake thing yet.
8. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look,
we both know the truth: you're just jealous.
9. Dog sweaters.
Hello . . . have you noticed the fur?
10. Any haircut that involves
bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not
home.
11. When you pick up the poop in the yard. Do you realize how far
behind schedule that puts me?
12. Taking me to the vet for "the big
snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go
back.
13. The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.