Let's play dress up!

You see, my FUR keeps me warm. Your
sweaters only serve to insult me.

When I say "woof," I mean "I hate
you."

If
the choice is between prison and playing dress up with you, I choose
prison.

As
if it wasn't hard enough being called anorexic all the time; now you dress me up as
an old drunken hooker.

If
you think I won't eat you when you die, you're dead
wrong.

Though I have provided all the
evidence in the world, perhaps I should take this time to state a certain fact explicitly: I am a dog. I am NOT a
CHILD!

As
you must be mentally off, I'll cut you some
slack.

If
you wanted a bunny, why didn't you just buy
one?

Please remind me why I'm supposed to
love you.

I
give you everything I have to give and you still wish I was a
Dalmatian...

 I
wish your husband took me with him when he
left.

If
I had hands I'd strangle you.

What is wrong with you. Seriously.
Did you not get enough love as a child? Is your world so completely devoid of
meaning that you think dressing me as a flower is a form of care taking? I hope
the house gets burgled tonight.

Remember this moment when I pee on
your Persian rug tonight.

What am I wearing? Am I a picnic
table? A waitress?

 I
wonder how many of these I have to slip into her water to end the
torment.

Could someone out there please have
my owner put to sleep? 

Very funny. You come up with that
yourself?

Look, I'm barely a dog. I have
enough identity issues without you dressing me up as a
cheetah.

Dang it. How am I going to get a
girl when I look like I'm being strangled by a cartoon
cat?

You
are ruining what self-esteem I have left.

And
I thought the bunny suit was bad... What am I now? A Dogglebee? Please stop.
Please.